{"id":531,"date":"2016-01-29T16:03:56","date_gmt":"2016-01-29T21:03:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/54.212.39.223\/?p=531"},"modified":"2016-01-29T16:03:56","modified_gmt":"2016-01-29T21:03:56","slug":"mess-or-memories-develop-their-creativity-or-stinkin-thinkin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.barbettespitler.com\/?p=531","title":{"rendered":"Mess or Memories? Develop their Creativity or Stinkin’ Thinkin’ !"},"content":{"rendered":"
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\"child<\/a> A young child is happily painting. \u00a0Creating a beautiful, majestic work of art. \u00a0Every color is exquisite. \u00a0Every stroke is perfectly placed. \u00a0There is no greater joy in childhood than seeing their work of art when this creativity is unleashed, uninhibited, and fully executed. \u00a0It is beautiful…. and it is good.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Until Mom discovers this work of art has been created with her make up, tooth paste and powder… AND… the canvas is the bathroom wall. \u00a0“What were you thinking?” Mom screams at the child. \u00a0“You ruined my make up. \u00a0You messed up the entire bathroom!! \u00a0Oh My Gosh! \u00a0I can’t believe you would do this to me! \u00a0It’s an awful mess I have to clean up! \u00a0Get out of here and never do this again!”<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Horrified, terrified, and sobbing, the child runs away to their room. \u00a0The child learned, very quickly, his\/her creativity is messy and ruins things. Because the mother was so upset, the child believes they should never express their creativity again because it is so upsetting. \u00a0They made an immediate agreement within to silence their creativity.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Sound familiar? \u00a0It should. \u00a0For most of us, we were either the receiver of such a message as a child OR we sent the message to a child. \u00a0Yes, I know…\u00a0\u00a0 cleaning up the after affects of such creativity is work and certainly not fun. \u00a0Yet, cleaning up the walls and replacing cosmetics are a distant second to restoring the wounded spirit of the child. \u00a0Yet, which one do you suppose gets the most attention? \u00a0The mess you can see or the spirit you cannot?<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Because of an incident like the one described, the child grows up suppressing their creativity. \u00a0Maybe another child was singing at the top of their lungs while Dad was driving the car. \u00a0When Dad has had enough he shouts at the child to “shut up already… you don’t even know the right words!”. \u00a0Something that simple can cause the child to suppress their singing. \u00a0More importantly, they may also begin to wonder what other parts of their personality are not acceptable to others. \u00a0If it’s not accepted by their own parents then…. \u00a0WOW… now what?<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0THAT’s how Stinkin’ Thinkin’ starts.\u00a0 In childhood! \u00a0Parents don’t purposely stifle their children’s creativity nor do they realize how their words can be so harmful or cause long term damage. \u00a0Most often, they are just expressing their own frustration or anger or any other emotion.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 One day, when my twin boys were young toddlers, they became way too quiet in the bedroom. \u00a0I sneaked up the stairs and listened. \u00a0They were busy doing something and then giggling. \u00a0Ever so quietly I sneaked and when I saw them I nearly cried! \u00a0They had opened the door to the attic and found the stacks of 500 and 1000 piece puzzles.\u00a0 Twelve\u00a0 puzzle boxes were strewn all over the floor but the puzzle pieces were in a HUGE pile in the center of their room. \u00a0They dumped each box of puzzle pieces in the pile and tossed the box aside. \u00a0They played in the pile of pieces like it was a pile of leaves on the lawn. They were so happy!<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I was tired! \u00a0With four boys, (2 toddlers, 1 teen and 1 tween)\u00a0 I was not at all interested in cleaning up 12 boxes of puzzle pieces! \u00a0I just sat there, and in my misery, I started to cry. \u00a0Soon, though, their giggles brought me back to reality. \u00a0They were so happy. \u00a0I slowly rounded the corner from the stairs and laid in the doorway. \u00a0When they saw me they were even happier! \u00a0“Look Mommy,” as Britt grabbed up two handfuls of pieces and threw them up and then danced underneath the falling pieces. \u00a0Puzzle pieces were EVERYWHERE! \u00a0I asked them… “So…. what are we doing here?” \u00a0Britt exclaimed, “It’s a fire!” \u00a0He grabbed more handfuls of pieces and up into the air they went. Cody ran back into the attic to get the last box and before I could say a word, another 500 pieces landed in the puzzle-piece-fire. \u00a0I wasn’t sure exactly what to do. \u00a0So… I said, “Interesting…” \u00a0I then decided to distract them and totally avoid the clean up until later.\u00a0 No yelling.\u00a0 No punishment.\u00a0 I really didn’t know what to do.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0When Daddy came home, I suggested the twins show Daddy what they had created today. \u00a0They couldn’t have been happier to show him! \u00a0They bounded up those stairs and started the tossing frenzy again. \u00a0Daddy looked at me with a questioning look… as if to say… you let them do this? \u00a0I signed and shook my head. \u00a0For the record, did have the boys help us separate the pieces into several piles based on the color of the back of the pieces. \u00a0Then, the parents took on the task of getting every single puzzle piece back into the proper box. \u00a0Yep. \u00a0We rebuilt every puzzle to make sure each box was correct. \u00a0Every box was then sealed with tape and ALL the boxes were sold in the next garage sale!
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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Imagine if we had handled the situation differently. \u00a0What if I had yelled at them for the mess and belittled them because of the work they created for me and their Daddy? \u00a0What if…?? \u00a0What stinkin’ thinkin’ could have resulted. \u00a0We will never know. But I know for sure… children will respond to the messages we send them. \u00a0They will close up for self protection. \u00a0OR they will blossom when supported.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Do you remember a situation where you wish your parents had supported you? \u00a0Do you remember an event that initiated your stinkin’ thinkin’ about yourself? \u00a0Have a story about something your children did and how you handled it? \u00a0Please share here.<\/div>\n
\"children<\/a><\/div>\n

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